Offciant services:

Since 1987, when I first began celebrating marriages, I have found this to be one of the most fulfilling parts of my life as a minister. To have the chance to work with couples as they make this major transition in their lives is indeed a privilege. My philosophy is this:  if couples come to the point of marrying, it is likely that they are already betrothed to one another in their hearts. The marriage celebration is a public affirmation of a personal covenant. Some couples express this bond with reference to God, others do not.  Sometimes one person in the marriage is more overtly religious or spiritual than the other. Marriages these days are not as simple as they perhaps once were when overt religiosity and a church wedding were the norm.

My job is to help the couples to share this very private part of their lives with their friends and families. To express why it is that two people have found in one another a suitable life’s partner is a challenging task that words alone cannot easily convey. I love this challenge. I spend time talking with the couple about why they love each other, how they met, their hopes and their dreams for their union, etc. I look for ways to involve, if desired, their family and friends, or at least, to be able to express on the couples’ behalf their thanksgiving for the ways these people have shaped them as individuals and as a couple. If it is a second marriage or if there are children involved, I try to work with the particularities of the family as a whole.

Here is the basic format of what I do to accomplish this: I meet with couples in person or via a conference call for about an hour or two. I listen to stories of your love and how you envision the ceremony. I find out about your family backgrounds and what you love to do so that what I envision with you will be unique to you and pleasant for all involved. From this meeting, I get a general sense of how to proceed. I then email materials for the couple to consider such as a sample order of service, vows they might select or use to write their own and readings that could be appropriate. With a few more emails back and forth, we finally have an order of service, which I can put to print on the couples’ behalf or they can do, if they have their own printer.  On the day before the wedding, the couple and their wedding party gather at the site and I conduct a rehearsal. We workout any kinks in the rehearsal and then we prepare for the next day.  I encourage the couples to be as relaxed and rested as possible during these next 24 hours or so to take time alone and together and to avoid if possible, last minute details related to the reception, etc.

So often, we place great emphasis upon the externals of a wedding and can forget why we are gathered together. Long after the flowers and photos have faded and the dress is packed away or sold, the vows and the relationship will endure. This is what matters the most, and for this there is not real price that can be paid, to me or to anyone, to make this work. The couple needs to be present to the moment and to each other as they anticipate a long life together. Therefore, I try to help couples remember this, from the moment I meet them until they find themselves, standing quietly before one another, holding hands and saying their vows to each other.

We live in a world where commitments are easily discarded and where few people have ever seen the beauty of “old love.” I like to help the couples see themselves as two old growth trees that are located in Joyce Kilmer National Forest. They are 500 year old poplars who stand side by side, abiding all that passes their way. That’s what we are hoping for at Hidden River: this kind of beautiful, old love.

The people for whom I have officiated often express great appreciation for the joyous spirit I bring to their occasion, for the steadfast way I work with them leading up to the day—usually through email if the couple lives at a distance from me—and for the way I take the seeds of their love and help, through word and ritual, this love to blossom on the day of their wedding. I “love to love” so the chance to serve couples from a variety of religious or cultural/ethnic backgrounds makes my soul expand even more. Personally, I see this gift for marrying couples as a way to give witness to my own faith as it is rooted in simply “loving as I have been loved.” 

We invite you to consider my skills as you decide which officiant is right for you. We are pleased to offer you a beautiful farm and guest houses at Hidden River for your event, but I also remain wiling to travel within the region to officiate at weddings elsewhere.  Please, do not hesitate to call or email me if you think I can be of help to you at this time in your life. Congratulations. This is exciting!